crown of violets

This past weekend was the first Taboo, the Naughty but Nice Show in Winnipeg, held at the Winnipeg Convention Center. It was a three-day “upscale consumer trade show dedicated to romance and self-improvement” featuring everything from toys and lingerie to hair extensions and Derby girls (♥!!!).

I showed up at around 7 pm when the crowd seemed to just be picking up. There were over 40 companies that turned out for the night with their wares. My favourite booth was Lovestyle Adult Toys with a gorgeous selection of glass dildos. Their products were elegant and sensual and their staff was very helpful. Another display that really caught my eye was Sinate Creations who brought beautiful handmade skirts and dresses made from saris and other vibrant, luxurious materials. The Winnipeg Roller Derby girls were also there (on skates of course) advertising the upcoming inaugural bout against Thunder Bay on February 27th. ♥ (If you’re in Winnipeg and you haven’t got a ticket yet, you need to get one. It’s going to be excellent!)

I was pretty familiar with most of the wares at the show but Sinful Sydnee Creative Courtesan Classes brought along a lovely little gem called a violet wand. It’s a toy that shocks your skin when you touch it. It felt like a more powerful version of static electricity. It came with a pretty purple glitter attachment that sent shocks up and down my back. Definitely something to look into. ♥

At the far end of the hall was a main stage setup that featured live entertainment throughout the weekend. I ended up catching a show by Miss la Muse, a local burlesque dancer. La Muse is a charming performer. I saw her perform once before at The Academy earlier this year and she has a show coming up on February 14th that I highly recommend for anyone who is interested. If you’re lucky, she’ll do her powder puff routine which is absolutely adorable. There was also a great bellydancing troupe called “The Hamsa Girls” with a fantastic dancer named Rachel that I really enjoyed.

At the other end of the hall, the show had a seminar theater which featured discussions on a variety of topics. After helping myself to some chocolate fondue and fruit, I sat in on “Going Oral!” by Fantasia and “BUTT It’s Sexy… and FUN!!” with Sinful Sydnee, both of which were great. Trade shows are often pretty exhausting for me so I left pretty early, with a stack of business cards and a goodie bag of free condoms and coupons. A friend and I grabbed a bite to eat before heading to her place. My night finished with a lovely walk down the frozen river with snow like diamond dust falling all around us.

It was chilly and dark when my roommate woke me to get ready for the memorial. In a sleepy haze, I pulled on the clothes I’d laid out the night before. The half moon was bright in the sky as we walked to the Legislative building.

The building was decorated for Christmas with red bows, green trees, and golden bells everywhere. Fourteen of us gathered in a circle near the stairs and were each given a red rose and a name. We lived up as marchers from the very early morning walk from Union Street trickled in, holding small flickering candles in their gloved hands. After the guests had seated themselves, we walked in, dividing into two lines and surrounding the circular marble gate that enclosed the opening in the floor. Fourteen cream coloured candles were already in place and at each one we laid a rose.

Twenty years ago on December 6th, fourteen women were killed in Montreal at L’Ecole Polytechnique. December 6th has since become Canada’s Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women.

We were welcomed by the Chairperson of Manitoba Women’s Advisory Council, Marlene Bertrand, and Jennifer Howard, the Minister responsible for the Status of Women. Our first speaker was Karen Busby from the University of Manitoba’s Faculty of Law. I listened with interest as she spoke of the changes that had taken place in our society regarding women and the things that still needed changing. She spoke of the fourteen women who were killed twenty years ago, but also the ten women who were lost to violence this year in Manitoba. She spoke of the issues regarding Aboriginal women and the need to move beyond acknowledgment of the wrongs done in the past to reconciliation between peoples. My heartbeat pounded in my ears.

Leanne Ogloza from Osbourne House, a women’s shelter in the city, shared with us the story of her marriage, the partner she had loved and trusted, who had scared, controlled, hurt, and finally terrorized her and their beautiful daughter. She shared how she had to learn to throw off the label of victim and don the badge of survivor, finding a strength she’d never known existed within her. My vision blurred and wavered as she spoke and as the applause was loud and long when she finished, leaving us with a poem she had written during that dark night before she’d found her freedom.

The rose bearers were called up again and we stood in a circle. The candles smelled sweet as one by one, we called the name of one of the fourteen and lit one for her. In a ring of lights and roses, we all stood for a moment of silence.

The memorial closed with Laurie Favell-Mowat singing “Arms of an Angel”. I held back tears and hugged my roommate, who let herself cry.
We passed some time socializing after the ceremony, sharing a light breakfast and mingling. My roommate shared that one of the themes of the events held that week had been the invisibility of violence against women. She mentioned that some of the events had held a moment of screaming instead of silence in retaliation. We decided to talk to the river and have our own ceremony.

As we hurried down the stairs, a woman holding the roses we had laid down earlier walked by us. We asked if we could have one and she gave us two. We walked out into the daylight and towards the river. Within moments, the roses were frozen and stiff. We looked out at the frozen water and each said a small prayer of remembrance and hope. On the count of three, we dropped the roses into the snow and screamed as loud as we could.

{The Sunrise Memorial was held December 7th, 2009 by the Manitoba Women’s Advisory Council (Status of Women). Their website is http://www.manitoba.ca/msw.}

Love And Other Delusions by Tamara Lynn Robert

A little over week ago, I went to a great show at Ragpickers. It was called Love and Other Delusions, put on by a friend of a friend, for a new initiative in Winnipeg to support the health and safety of sex workers. It was fabulous. Poetry, burlesque, humour, adorable outfits, great prizes, charming audience.

It’s a blessing to be in a room full of friends and their friends, watching an amazing show that is fundraising for a cause that is deeply important to me. I felt love fluttering in my chest, like a little white moth preparing to land. I imagined it filling my cupped hands and flying free in a flurry of dusty white wings. Every part of me hummed with an energy that grew with every smiling face, every hug, every kind word from each person that was a reminder of the beauty in my world.

I swear, I feel more thankful every day.

A few months ago, my world came crashing down, when four sex workers, including myself, and two allies were arrested in a raid by the Winnipeg Police and charged. One woman’s two children were taken. It was my first experience with the police and a pretty intense lesson about how some people feel about my work. It was so strange to be in that room with people who were so convinced that they were protecting me from myself, unable to engage or speak to them as peer human beings. I felt at such a loss. My life was changed. I couldn’t work, couldn’t even begin to know how to respond.

But as the weeks went by and I felt my energy and life force drain away, I was lifted up by the love that was given so freely by the people I share my life with. When I had to tell my parents, I was comforted by family. When I didn’t know where my path lay anymore, I was inspired by the people around me and their response to what was happening: the strength of it, the passion behind their convictions, the love they poured into me. I was reminded again and again that we were all working towards the same dream – bringing more love, courage, empathy, and light into the world.

It was summed up that night in a pub, with some new friends, glasses raised in a toast -

“This is a perfect, blessed moment.”

We are exactly where we are meant to be. This is the world we made.

Last night, I dragged my sicky butt to Ye Old Mondragon for some good company and the event “Shaking the Tree: Grassroots Activism in Winnipeg”. As the tag line goes, it was “A Video Celebration of Local Social and Environmental Change”.

My favourite was the “Good Food Club” video, though I’m pretty biased. The Good Food Club is a program out of the West Broadway Development Corporation. I was introduced to it by my roommate/gardening teacher last summer and spent a lot of time volunteering with them. I’ve mentioned them in the post How To Get Food. The goal of the program is to make nutritious and affordable food available to West Broadway residents, by working with members to offer community cafes, potlucks, and fresh food boxes in the winter months. Their coordinator, Tammy Klos, is one of the best I’ve ever met. She’s passionate about what she’s doing and very talented. She mentioned she’s trying to get funding to expand the program to get more coverage in the city. I would really love to see that happen. My friends and family love the good food club boxes and the farm trips were one of the highlights of my summer. It was really great to see the program being celebrated.

My roommate came with me and we tried their lime cheesecake, munched out on cookies and tasted a delicious blend of tea. I missed a couple of the movies because I was socializing, but it was a really great time. I spoke with my friend Millie, who is a horticultural therapist, about her aboriginal gardening and healing program she’s trying to get funding for. She’s an amazing woman and been a great influence in my life. I’ve been very lucky to learn about what she’s trying to create and I know without a doubt it will help bring great healing to anyone who participates.

I love attending events at Mondragon. It’s been very inspiring for me to see what we’re doing as a community and a culture to help ease the problems that our way of living for the past couple of hundred years has created. We are imperfect, but we are always learning and always striving to live in greater harmony with each other, and the worlds we share this planet with.