crown of violets

Communicating With Companions

♪♫ Love letters straight from your heart ♪♫
Originally uploaded by cattycamehome

Since I’ve started taking clients, I’ve literally had a couple hundred responses. A fair amount of my time is spent sorting through to see who I’m going to respond to and who I have to pass up. Make no mistake. When you are communicating with a companion, he or she *is* screening potential clients. This is a reality of doing this work. No one person is a perfect fit for every client and if they aren’t screening, I’d worry.

The first thing to note is how the ad is of the companion is composed. I’m constantly refining my ads to better express the type of arrangement I’m looking for and the first thing I look for is some indication that my ad was read. My ads are a reflection of my personality. I put a lot of care into them and am drawn to respond to inquiries that show similar tastes. When you’re inquiring about seeing a companion, take your cues from how the companion writes. Anything typed in chat speak (r u able 2 meet?), sexually explicit, or messages asking questions that are answered in my ad are an immediate pass for me.

While I don’t think you should agonize over every word, how you phrase things is an indicator of your personality. I’ve had responses that left me thinking that I’d just applied for a high-stakes business job and I wasn’t impressing the jury. Most of the inquiries I get are from businessmen who are probably used to a competitive approach to interacting with others. But it is important to remember that you chose to contact me. If you are in any way unimpressed by my picture, how I composed my ad or feel that I have to “prove” insert-desired-quality-here to you, then I’m going to do both of us a favor and pass.

My ads all include a recent picture of a good size. Asking for more pictures straight off is a very poor way to introduce yourself. This is especially valid if you are withholding when asked for a picture in return. I’ve had one potential tell me that he valued discretion and would prefer not to send one to me. I replied that while his point was understandable, this was an issue I wasn’t flexible with. Most companions have very good reasons for the screening questions they ask and asking for a picture is a perfectly understandable request. Being withholding or challenging to polite requests has quickly become a pass for me.

I’ve also received some very touching emails. Most of the time, these are the ones where the inquirer made an effort to give me some background information about who they are and why they wanted to see me. Every companion, like every other human being, is unique in what attracts him or her. My desire is to build relationships based on compatibility of spirit and mutual attraction so I look for replies that open up a bit and tell me about who this person is. Interests, passions, work are all good conversation openers. This helps me get a better idea of what they’re looking for and if we’re going to be compatible. I’m an open person and I find I have a lot more fun with people who are the same. We don’t have to circle around each other warily. We can jump right into conversation to see if there’s a spark. If there is, we’ll be so glad we didn’t waste time on fear. If there isn’t, we can move on. Talking about yourself also helps me to start developing an individual connection. Email is a text based medium so it doesn’t have the same benefits as physical presence. Besides being a companion, I’m also very social and meet a lot of new people through my studies, volunteer work, and friends. Learning unique facts about a person naturally makes that person more interesting and memorable. I pursue connections with people who stand out and interest me. I expect the same of those who are deciding whether or not to pursue a connection with me.

It’s also a good idea when you’re contacting any type of sex worker to have all of your papers in order. Get tested regularly for STIs and keep a copy of your test results handy. I make sure I get tested regularly and I expect the same. Anyone who doesn’t is very naughty and should be ashamed. We can all take responsibility for doing our part to protect ourselves and those we care about.